The Heart Behind Alina Grabowski’s Debut Novel ‘Women and Children First’

Wormies, 

I have to tell you: sometimes, I simply can’t believe my luck. 

The other day, for example, I had a conversation with Alina Grabowski, author of the just-released (today!! May 7!) Women and Children First. 

It’s a novel that Publishers Weekly hails as “magnetic,” that Kirkus calls “a smart, propulsive novel,” and Booklist says is a “craftily constructed and deeply moving debut.”  Admittedly, I haven’t read it. But only because it’s not out yet. I ordered a copy the second our conversation ended. 

But based on our conversation, I have no doubt it’s all the things the critics say. Alina is thoughtful and attentive. She’s curious and honest. You can tell, even through Zoom, even through a bunch of state lines and a massive thunderstorm (on my end, not hers) that when she says something, she means it. Like, really means it. 

How rare. How lovely. 

Her novel must be spectacular. 

My questions are in bold. Alina’s responses are directly below each question.

It’s a question that I think stirs up the loveliest of responses. So, I’ve got to ask: why do you write?

It’s similar to Joan Didion's answer, which is to figure out what I think. I also write to be surprised. I love to write because it resists any sort of predetermined direction or objective. The minute I start writing something, when I think I know what shape it should take or what it should say, the work bucks back. That alchemy is thrilling. 

In my work, I’m drawn to exploring how women navigate the world, especially their platonic relationships. Shedding light on those intimate moments and the darker aspects of being a woman is incredibly powerful. These special, unique interactions between women deserve to be documented and explored. Delving into topics that interest me and hold personal significance is a privilege. It allows me to spend time reflecting on things that really matter to me.

Tell us a bit about your book. Plot. Characters. Spice. Drama. Whatever you want to share, we want to hear. Er… read.

The book follows ten women in a small town in coastal Massachusetts, both before and after high school student Lucy Anderson dies at a house party. While this setup might suggest a thriller or mystery, and it certainly includes elements of both, it’s primarily literary fiction. It explores how a community processes a tragedy through the various perspectives of the people who live in the town. It’s about grief and the ongoing impact of loss, and the complexities of memory, a subject that particularly fascinates me.

Can you tell us about the title of your book? 

I've seen some readers think it’s going to be about the Titanic. 

And, actually, the title Women and Children First is inspired by that evacuation course of action on the Titanic, and it’s somewhat ironic. In my book, it's often the men who are causing problems for the women, quite the opposite of the title's implication that men are stepping aside to save the most vulnerable. 

Also, more literally, the main characters in the book are mostly women and girls. Thematically, all of these characters are trying to evacuate their circumstances in some way. They’re not completely satisfied and are searching for something they can’t quite find. There’s a lot about ambition in the book, wondering if they’ve lived up to their full potential or being unsatisfied with what they’ve sacrificed for something they thought they wanted but maybe didn’t actually want. It’s a guiding light for the book, thinking about the vulnerability of women and girls and how they find safety—or don’t.

What would you say is the heart of Women and Children First? How did you weave this central theme into the narrative or discussion?

I think the book harbors twin interests. 

One is to critique the ways in which the community fails to perform its supposed duties when people who live together and are part of each other's lives don't really take care of each other. I was also intrigued by our more selfish natures and what happens when we prioritize our own or our family's safety over the wider community's well-being.

Paired with this critique is a sense of hopefulness—that we care for each other through our relationships. When inexplicable, terrible things occur, what we have is the people in our lives, often in unexpected ways. Throughout the book, unexpected relationships form and small moments of intimacy occur that are unprecedented. I was critiquing the community, particularly since the town is very homogeneous in many ways, mostly white, and the social class is broadly middle class. I examined how this affects people's actions. But also, when people step up and are brave enough to help each other, what does that look like? These two opposite but related impulses were guiding me as I wrote.

When you're deep into writing, do you ever find yourself lost in your characters' world? How does it feel to come back to reality? Do you ever want to just stay “lost” in their world?

Definitely, especially with this book, since each chapter is written from a different first-person perspective. It requires deep concentration to truly inhabit each character's unique worldview and experiences. Sometimes I need to engage physically, like going for a walk, to clear my mind. 

I'm fortunate to write full-time, and I've never been someone who writes 20,000 words in three days. Instead, I prefer maintaining a nine-to-five routine that allows time for writing and for seeing friends. I value my life outside of writing; maintaining a balance is crucial since it enriches my writing and helps me stay grounded. This approach ensures I make space to be a person, not just a writer, allowing me to connect with loved ones and get out of my own head, which, for me, is often necessary.

Can you describe your experience navigating your publishing path? How’d it happen? What are some key lessons or insights you gained?

I love this question because my path was not straightforward at all; it was long and arduous, which I think is hopeful. I signed with my agent at the end of grad school in 2019. We've now worked together for five years, and this is my first book. Women and Children First was originally my grad school thesis, and it was a collection of stories.

When I was submitting it to agents, the feedback was that it should either be more separate, like a traditional short story collection, or more tightly knit, creating a self-contained world where the parts are more intentionally connected. My agent felt the latter, and that resonated with me because disconnecting things that were connected felt unnatural. We worked together to turn it into a novel. At the time, I was working a tech job, which was very stressful. We revised back and forth for about two years before taking it on submission, submitting it to editors.

No one bought it in the first round. I had been working on the book for close to six years between grad school and after, and it was heart-wrenching to think no one wanted it. My agent, however, was confident. She shared anonymized feedback from different editors, and we went out again, selling it to Zando within a week on the second round. But it was really touch and go, and I was terrified it would end up in a drawer forever. The challenging part of the publishing process is when it shifts from writing to publishing, moving from being about the art to focusing on the market. A publishing house has to believe they can make back their investment on you.

The submission process is nerve-wracking. You hear a lot about people getting agents, but less about going out to editors. It involves your agent submitting your work, and then you wait to see if anyone wants to buy it. There are more stories like mine than the flashy deals that happen quickly. My book is also being published by independent presses, mostly independent houses here and abroad, so you have to find a match with someone willing to take a risk on work that's a bit unconventional.

What piece of advice do you have to offer aspiring writers? 

My biggest piece of advice is two-fold. 

First, read as much as you can, especially works that you love. Whenever I find myself in a creative rut, reading something truly beautiful often inspires me and sparks a kind of competitive drive—I start wondering if I can achieve something similar in my own writing. 

Second, surround yourself with people who are interested in art and creativity, and who approach the world with sensitivity. While I'm fortunate to have wonderful writer friends, I've never felt a strong need to be part of a formal writing community. These communities can be great, but it's equally valuable to connect with people who aren't writers and live their lives attuned to beauty. You don’t need to limit your circle to writers to find inspiration and engagement with topics relevant to writing. There are many people out there walking through life with sensitivity, asking fundamental questions about what it means to be alive, offering diverse and enriching perspectives along the way.

What (and where) are some of your favorite indie bookshops?

I feel lucky to live in Austin because we've been experiencing an indie bookstore renaissance. 

Reverie Books is my favorite. It's an awesome place that does a lot of excellent work for queer and trans kids in our community. It's a sweet, small shop that opened a couple of years ago. 

Alienated Majesty, formerly a campus bookstore called Melbourne, has the most amazing sections on translations, small press, and theory. You go in there, and you're guaranteed to find something you've never heard of but is spectacular. 

Book People is an Austin standby.

First Light is another new one that has a beautiful space. They've lined up some great events, as well.

Thanks for tuning in, y’all.

Don’t forget to save Women and Children First to your “to read” shelf to be entered for a chance to win a copy!

Interested in chatting with Alina? Send her a note.

Looking to follow Alina on Bookworm? Connect with her.

Want to read Women and Children First? Buy her book at your favorite indie. 

Yours in dirt, 

Ali 

P.S. If you enjoyed what Alina had to say here, Books Are Magic* is hosting an event with Alina and Sarah Jessica Parker (free, here on YouTube, or, if you live in NYC, get a ticket and go!) TONIGHT on May 7, the day her book drops!! 

*Books Are Magic was a featured bookstore in one of our Community Corner newsletters! How cool.